


Fire in my Soul; Love in my Heart

by talkcummingtome (TalkCummingToMe)



Category: The Anniversary Party (2001)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Divorce, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Mentions Of Infidelity, Multi, Post-Movie(s), Slow Burn, Swearing, The Author Regrets Nothing, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2018-12-18 22:35:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11884269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalkCummingToMe/pseuds/talkcummingtome
Summary: When Sally caught Joe kissing their next door neighbor, she left him. Now he's on his own and madly in love with Monica, the woman who ignited flames within his heart.





	1. Don't Tell Me (I Don't Wanna Know)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EndoratheWitch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndoratheWitch/gifts), [Iggy22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iggy22/gifts).



> Pretty much an alternate ending to what, in my opinion, is Alan Cumming's best work to date.

“Do you love her?” Sally whispered, too hurt to scream the way she wanted to. “Do you love her, Joe?”

 

He sighed, already knowing she would hate the answer. “Yes. Yes, I do.”

 

“Well, that's just great,” she answered, a slight edge to her voice. “When were you going to tell me?”

 

“I don't know,” he said. “Look, I didn't plan for this to happen, okay?”

 

“I'm such an idiot; I should've seen this coming,” she groused. “I...are you fucking kidding me right now?”

 

He said nothing. He knew he was in trouble, but he really didn't care at the moment. He knew it was wrong and that it would drive a wedge between him and Sally...and yet...it had felt so good and so very, very right. He knew their marriage was on shaky ground, and, though he hated to admit it, he thought perhaps she had been wrong to take him back. Yes, he loved her, but there was no denying the fact that their relationship had changed over the years into something barely recognizable.

 

“Look, Sally,” he began, “I really am sorry, but we both know this marriage is going nowhere.”

 

“Why didn't you just come talk to me?” she sniffled. “I...you know what, Joe?”

 

“What?” he asked.

 

“You're a real bastard, you know that?” she answered coldly. “I don't want to be married to someone who doesn't love me.”

 

“I don't either,” he answered. “I really am sorry, though, and I hope you can forgive me someday.”

 

“That's likely,” she snapped, in a tone that told him the opposite. “Given that I can't even stand to be in the same room as you!”

 

“So leave,” he responded. “Nobody is stopping you.”

 

“Fine,” she snapped, shoving past him without looking back. “You can expect the papers within the next week!”

 

He sighed, watching his now-former love walk out of his life for the last time, then screamed his lungs out for a good minute. Breathing hard, he clenched and unclenched his fists a few times as he slowly calmed down.

 

“Right,” he muttered, massaging his temples as he felt a headache making itself known.

 

He knew he should tell Monica the good news, but she was currently passed out on his couch sleeping off the effects of the drugs they'd taken earlier in the evening. It would just have to wait until the next day.


	2. Just the Girl Next Door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I ship these two so hard.

Last time:

  
‘He knew he should tell Monica the good news, but she was currently passed out on his couch sleeping off the effects of the drugs they'd taken earlier in the evening. It would just have to wait until the next day.’

  
\----

  
Monica’s brain felt fuzzy, as though there was a wall stopping her from remembering the previous night's events. Moaning softly as she tried to get comfortable in hopes of drifting back to sleep, she sighed and let out a long exhale. Her eyes landed on the coffee table where there was a hastily scribbled note, a cold bottle of water, and...a lollipop.

  
_Oh, so that's what had happened last night_ , she thought, briefly wondering how Joe had fared after she passed out. She remembered Sally shouting at her over Otis’ disappearance, but afterward was where it got hazy. Monica sighed again, rubbing her temples as she reached for the note. Joe had surprisingly elegant handwriting, she noticed.

  
_Monica_ , it read, _I think you'll need these in the morning. I'm in the room down the hall (first door on the left) if you need anything._

  
She smiled, suddenly hit with an intense wave of love for him, and, after sipping some water and unwrapping the lollipop, headed towards the room he'd mentioned. She knocked, fingers crossed in hopes that he was awake.

  
“It's open,” he called, his voice thick with sleep.

  
He was sprawled on his bed in only a pair of tartan boxers. One arm rested under the pillow, eyes closed, but very much awake in other ways. He shifted after a minute, turning to look at her with a raised eyebrow. Monica said nothing, suddenly very aware of her naked form, and blushed redder than a tomato as he hurried to preserve what was left of his dignity.

  
“Oh!” she exclaimed. “I...um...I'll just...”

  
He chuckled. “It's okay. Are you all right?”

  
“Other than my lack of memory, yeah,” she replied. “What about you?”

  
“Pretty much the same,” he answered. “So...um...you want a cup of coffee or something?”

  
“That would be great,” she said. “Um, do you have a robe or something? I'm cold.”

  
“Get under the covers,” he suggested. “I'll go make a pot of coffee.”

  
Her eyes went wide. “I...okay.”

  
Shivering sympathetically as she did so, he pulled the bedspread away from his body and headed towards the kitchen. Monica yawned, pulling the covers around herself, and settled in to wait. After a few minutes, he returned carrying two steaming mugs of coffee with the day’s newspaper tucked under one arm. He handed her one of the mugs, smiling sweetly as he did, and then returned to his half of the bed.

  
“Thanks,” she smiled, sipping at the bitter liquid carefully. “Do you remember anything that happened last night?”

  
“Probably more than you do,” he answered. “Sally left me. Again.”

  
“Wait what?” she gasped. “Oh, Joe, I'm so sorry.”

  
“I'm not,” he answered. “We both knew getting back together was a bad idea, but I talked her into it.”

  
“Wow,” she laughed, shaking her head in amazement. “If you both knew it would end that fast, why did you even suggest it?”

  
“Because I'm a stubborn idiot,” he answered. “And because I was fighting feelings of attraction towards someone else.”

  
“You could have talked to her,” she said, “and asked about an open marriage or something.”

  
“Well, it doesn't matter now,” he sighed. “We’ll be getting divorced soon, and then I won't have to deal with her.”

  
Monica nodded, but the wheels in her brain were turning. Who was this someone else Joe was attracted to? Was it Skye Davidson? She wouldn't blame him if it was -- hell, she'd tap that if she could, too. Monica dismissed that idea after a moment, however. Skye was blond like Sally, and she was almost certain he wouldn't go for another one after what she had put him through. Maybe it was...nah, couldn't be. Or was it?

  
_Whoa_ , she thought, _easy there._ He'd never go for someone like her, would he? They were supposed to be enemies, after all, always feuding over their dogs and nothing more.

  
...and yet, she couldn't help but remember the gentle caress of his lips on hers or the way he had held her in his arms so tenderly. He smiled at her then, jolting her out of her reverie.

  
“Penny for your thoughts?” he inquired. “You had kind of an odd look on your face for awhile.”

  
She didn't answer; instead choosing to let actions speak for her as she set her coffee mug aside to kiss him.


	3. I Don't Need a Reason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angry!Ryan got away from me oops.

Last time:

  
‘She didn't answer; instead choosing to let actions speak for her as she set her coffee mug aside to kiss him.’

  
\----

  
He blinked in surprise, pulling away momentarily to set the mugs aside. She made a soft, needy noise at the temporary loss of those soft, soft lips, but then he was kissing her again. It was a chaste kiss, but it was also one that had flames of long-unexpressed passion on its edges. She smiled, breaking the kiss and wrapping her arms around his neck contentedly.

  
“You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that,” she murmured. “I'm not stupid, Joe; even our dogs could probably tell that something was up.”

  
He laughed and stroked her ebony hair with a rueful smile. “I know the feeling.”

  
“Also, as long as we're being honest with each other, I might as well tell you that Otis’ barking wasn't even that annoying,” she admitted, as her cheeks started turning pink. “I just needed excuses to see you in case my husband suspected anything.”

  
“Why does that not surprise me?” Joe replied. “Speaking of...what about Ryan?”

  
“Oh, god,” she moaned, briefly closing her eyes. “Ryan. I didn’t think about how this would affect him.”

  
“No one ever does, do they?” Joe smiled sadly. “Do you still love him, Monica?”

  
She opened her mouth to reply, but he held a finger to her lips, effectively silencing her. “No, don't answer my question right now. Take some time to think about it, okay? And just know that, whatever your decision, I only care about your happiness.”

  
“You're a very good man, Joe Therrian,” she answered, smiling just as sadly as she sipped her now-lukewarm coffee in silence for a time.

  
Too wrapped up in each other, neither of them noticed Ryan's face peeking into the window. If they had, they would have realized he knew and seen his face contort into an expression of despair and loneliness.

  
\----

  
Later that morning as Monica walked home, she silently resolved to take some time and think about her feelings for Ryan. Little did she know, however, how useless Joe’s suggestion had really been, for her husband was waiting at the door with a wild, vicious look in his eyes.

  
“You little bitch!” he snarled. “When were you going to tell me?”

  
“I...it all happened so fast. I wasn't planning on this at all, I swear!” she gasped, tears forming in her eyes as she threw her hands up for protection should he decide to turn violent.

  
“Yeah, and pigs can fly,” he answered sarcastically. “I've seen the way you look at him, Monica, and it's not the kind of look one gives their enemy.”

  
“Regardless, he was the one to make a pass at me, Ryan!” she snapped. “I was unable to resist because I was so wasted.”

  
“You didn't have to take any!” he shouted. “You could have just left when I did!”

  
“Well, maybe if you weren't so goddamned uptight all the time, I wouldn't have needed to!” she screamed. “You know what, you asshole?”

  
“What?” he sighed, already knowing he wouldn't like her answer.

  
“I don't know why I married you,” she answered coldly. “It's over, Ryan. Over, do you hear me? Now, get the fuck out!”

  
“Fine!” he yelled. “But you'd better not come crying to me when Joe ends up leaving you, too!”

  
“Like he ever would,” she scoffed. “He loves me, I know it.”

  
“You just keep telling yourself that,” he answered, walking away without another word to go and pack his things.

  
Fortunately, Ryan was as good as his word and left within several hours, leaving Monica to her own devices. She sighed, mostly from happiness that he was gone, and sat down on the sofa as tears began to fall. At first, Monica was unsure why she was crying; their love for one another had fizzled out long before the Therrians’ party. Then she laughed, realizing that she was crying out of relief. No longer would she have to conform to his rigid ideas of what a proper wife should be. With a slightly manic grin on her face, she went to call Joe. He had every right to know of the latest developments.


	4. Not So Different After All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I ended on another cliffhanger, and no, I'm not sorry.

Last time:

  
‘Fortunately, Ryan was as good as his word and left within several hours, leaving Monica to her own devices. She sighed, mostly from happiness that he was gone, and sat down on the sofa as tears began to fall. At first, Monica was unsure why she was crying; their love for one another had fizzled out long before the Therrians’ party. Then she laughed, realizing that she was crying out of relief. No longer would she have to conform to his rigid ideas of what a proper wife should be. With a slightly manic grin on her face, she went to call Joe. He had every right to know of the latest developments.’

  
\----

  
As soon as her hand was on the phone, it occurred to her that this was something he needed to hear from her in person. Exhaling into a resigned sigh, she slowly pulled her hand off the receiver and turned to return next door. Monica hadn't made it more than a few feet away, however, before there was a knock at the front door. Her heart hoped it was Joe, but a very unpleasant, Ryan-sounding voice echoed in the back of her mind reminding her not to get her hopes up. Scrunching up her face in annoyance and silently willing her mind to _shut the fuck up for the love of god_ , she went to answer the door.

  
It was Joe. Taking a deep breath in an attempt to contain her glee at seeing him again, she opened the door and ushered him in. He looked upset or something, she noticed, cause his facial expressions were sometimes hard to read. Smiling sadly as he sat on the couch, he sighed, but didn't say anything.

  
“Are you all right?” Monica inquired. “You look unhappy.”

  
“I could say the same about you,” he replied, laughing nervously as he picked at a thread on the couch cushion. “I saw Ryan drive off in a huff and...”

  
“It's over,” she cut in shortly. “It was over long before our little ecstasy-induced snogging session ever happened.”

  
He nodded, squeezing her hand soothingly as he waited for her to continue.

  
“We had different ideas of what marriage is,” she resumed. “He was very chauvinistic about certain things and very uncertain about others.”

  
“Why did you marry him?” Joe asked, suddenly realizing how similar their current situations really were. “You had to have known those things from the start.”

  
“I was young and stupid and thought I loved him,” she sighed. “Our little fling, drug-induced or not, was just one thing out of many others that contributed to its end.”

  
“We’re not so different,” he replied, smiling sympathetically and squeezing her hand again. “I, too, was young and stupid when I met and married Sally.”

  
Monica laughed. “I guess not. So...now what? Even though neither of our divorces are finalized yet, I’d still like to know for sure whether I'm getting my hopes up for nothing.”

  
“I meant what I said last night,” Joe replied. “I really do like you, Monica. A lot.”

  
“Who are you? Horton?” she quipped, laughing at the snort of laughter that had escaped from him. “No, but in all seriousness, Joe, I really like you, too.”

  
“Then how about we go on a real date?” he asked, a glimmer of hope shining in his brown eyes. “I'll understand if you feel like it's too soon and don't want to, of course, given that neither of us are divorced yet.”

  
“Shut up, Joe,” she replied. “I'd love to go out with you.”

  
“I...what?” he spluttered. “I wasn't actually expecting you to agree!”

  
“Well, we do have a very tangible chemistry between us,” she shrugged. “Ryan could see it even if I didn't at first, and, if I'm not mistaken, Sally could too.”

  
“You're not mistaken,” he answered, laughing bitterly at the thought of his soon-to-be ex wife. “That's why she left: because she didn't want to stand in our way.”

  
“Well, that's big of her,” Monica sighed, rolling her eyes in obvious distaste.

  
Joe sighed, nodding in agreement. “Only good thing she ever did, if I'm going to be honest. I mean, yeah, we had some good times, but those were few and far between.”

  
“Maybe you were more in love with your memories of her,” Monica suggested gently. “That alone is enough to make anyone take back someone they no longer love.”

  
“I think you might be right,” he admitted, starting to pick at the couch cushion again. “You're very astute; you know that?”

  
“Thanks, I think?” she answered, not sure whether to take it as a compliment or not.

  
“That was a compliment,” he assured her, turning red.

  
Monica said nothing, instead staring at his lips as though they were a well-known piece of artwork as the desire to kiss him made itself known. She sighed. _All or nothing_ , she thought, _all or nothing._ When their lips met, it was nothing like the chaste kisses from that morning or the euphoric, drug-induced kisses from the previous night. This one felt deeper and more personal, somehow, than any of the others they'd ever shared. Once a few seconds went by without any response on his end, he moaned against her lips, pulling her closer and tangling his fingers in the hairs at the nape of her neck as he deepened the kiss.

  
Monica smiled, effectively breaking the kiss and staring into his eyes. “So, uh, about that date you mentioned...”

  
He grinned. “Just name the place and the time. I'll be there.”

 


	5. Date-us Interruptus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are definitely heating up between them now.

Last time:

 

‘Monica smiled, effectively breaking the kiss and staring into his eyes. “So, uh, about that date you mentioned...”

  
He grinned. “Just name the place and the time. I'll be there.” '

  
\----

  
“How about right now?” Monica replied, only half joking. “We could have an early dinner, if you'd like?”

  
“I thought you'd never ask,” he replied, as he stood and held out a hand to her. “I'd love to.”

  
Little did they know what would happen when they reached the restaurant. It started off innocently enough; they were seated and had placed their drink orders in record time...

  
...and then it had happened. The waitress had barely taken a few steps away from the table when Sally had walked in, arm-in-arm with Panes as if she belonged that way. He figured the look on his face must have given him away, because Monica nudged him with a quizzical look on her face. Then she, too, looked in that direction and the unpleasant realization kicked in.

  
“Do you want to ask for the check when the waitress brings our drinks and leave?” she whispered.

  
“No,” he whispered back. “There are lots of empty tables; it's unlikely they'll be seated near us.”

  
She shrugged. “Okay, but just remember that you can always change your mind.”

  
“I know,” he answered, sighing in relief as he was saved from having to say anything more by the waitress bringing their drinks and asking if they were ready to order.

  
Once she was gone again, Joe fell silent, staring into his drink as though it was the most interesting thing in the world. He was so busy trying to ignore the rest of the world that he failed to notice Sally and Panes sitting a few tables away. Monica sighed, wondering how best to break the news to him, finally deciding not to say anything and hope they didn't see them first. Unfortunately, luck wasn't on their side as she saw Panes nudge Sally and nod in their direction.

  
 _Oh shit_ , she thought, _he's coming over here._ Now what? They couldn't escape in five seconds; that was impossible. Monica nudged Joe, hoping to do some damage control before the night ended badly. He pursed his lips thoughtfully in response, looking at Monica with shrug and an expression of helplessness.

  
“Panes!” he exclaimed, silently hoping his smile didn't look too forced. “How nice to see you!”

  
“Likewise,” he replied. “Sally, look who's here!”

  
Joe cringed visibly, an act that didn't go unnoticed by Monica. The last thing either of them wanted was to have to engage in polite chatter with his soon-to-be ex and her new lover. Smiling apologetically, he headed for the restroom to splash some water on his face.

  
“Excuse me,” Monica replied coldly, leaving both Panes and Sally standing there with their mouths hanging open. “Nice running into you.”

  
She sat back down, glaring at them with daggers in her eyes as the waitress brought their meals. Knowing Joe was too proud to admit he wanted to leave, Monica sighed and asked the waitress to please box up the food and bring the check. When he returned, she sighed sympathetically and squeezed his hand.

  
“I’ve asked the waitress to box up our food,” she said. “We can pay the check when she returns and eat at home.”

  
“Thank you,” he whispered, squeezing her hand in reply as the waitress returned. “Let’s go.”

  
\----

  
“Why?” he burst out, sighing deeply and rubbing his temples as he collapsed onto the couch. “Why that restaurant?”

  
Knowing that he needed to vent without any interruptions, Monica said nothing as she sat next to him on the couch, one arm draped around his shoulders.

  
“I mean, there are thousands of restaurants they could've chosen!” he continued, closing his eyes in despair. “Ugh. All I wanted is for us to have a nice night out.”

  
“We still can, you know,” she reminded him gently. “We have our food; why don't we eat on the deck?”

  
“You're right,” he agreed, smiling and kissing her lips lightly. “I'd love to.”

  
Dinner started as a somewhat quiet affair; neither of them saying much for several minutes as they ate. Then Monica asked Joe about his latest book and things just took off from there as both of them realized how much they had in common. When they finished eating, Joe suggested they have some coffee and sit by the pool for awhile. Monica smiled, agreeing and placing a quick kiss to his cheek as he stood up to clear their plates. She trailed after him, offering to make the coffee. After the dishes were washed and the coffee made, they took their mugs out to the pool, legs dangling in the cool water as they sipped the hot liquid contentedly.

  
“Thank you for tonight,” Monica said. “I know it didn't start out the way we planned, but I'm having fun anyway.”

  
“Me too,” Joe agreed, setting his empty mug off to the side in favor of something much sweeter. “I'm just sorry it was interrupted.”

  
Monica nodded in agreement, sensing the desire flooding through his veins as he kissed her deeply. _His lips are so soft_ , she thought, briefly wondering whether he used lotion on them. Her hands tangled in his brown hair as he pulled away to catch his breath, looking into his eyes with a sigh of delight.

  
“God, I could kiss you forever,” she murmured, beginning to trail kisses down the side of his neck. “Mmm...”

  
“The feeling is definitely mutual,” he assured her softly as he tilted his head to give her better access and letting out an inhuman noise as she squeezed his ass.

  
Monica giggled, suddenly feeling bold. “I want you, Joe. Take me.”

  
“Not here,” he murmured. “Let’s go to bed.”

  
“What about our mugs?” Monica inquired.

  
“Leave them,” he murmured, kissing her deeply once again and effectively silencing her. “You have no idea how long I've wanted you, Monica.”

  
“Really? I think I might,” she replied teasingly as she slid her hands up his shirt, giggling as his eyes went wide in pleasure.

  
“Oh, that does it!” he growled, scooping her up and making a mad, desperate dash for the bedroom.

  
Monica moaned in delight, unbuttoning his shirt and chucking it to the floor without a second thought. Licking her lips in approval at his beauty, she began to trail soft kisses across his shoulders and down his arms as he groaned appreciatively. All talk was lost then as clothes were shed and kisses were shared. He slid a hand down her body, first squeezing her breasts and toying with her nipples, then dipping two fingers between her folds. Moaning in content at the warm, wet heat surrounding them, he began to thrust, stroking her clit every so often and making her moan against his lips.

  
“I...I'm so close,” she gasped. “Take me; please take me.”

  
Joe groaned and removed his fingers, licking them teasingly as he rolled on a condom and slid inside. She kissed him, long and hard and filled with passion as he began to move. _God_ , she thought, _sex with Ryan was never like this._ He could feel her starting to clench around him, sending him into his own release and letting out a satisfed moan as they started to come down from the high.

  
Once they got some brain cells back, Monica looked at him with a grin. “That was...wow...”

  
“I know the feeling,” he murmured, trying to stifle a yawn. “Let's get some sleep.”

  
There was no reply, for she had already fallen asleep. He shrugged, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, and settled down to do the same. “Sleep well.”


	6. A Story for the Ages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. It's finished at last.

Last time:

  
‘There was no reply, for she had already fallen asleep. He shrugged, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, and settled down to do the same. “Sleep well.” ‘

  
\----

  
Monica woke the following morning with a sigh and a slow, contented smile. The previous night had been absolutely incredible and not just in the physical sense; Joe had also made her feel safe and comfortable, something that Ryan had always failed at. She shifted, sighing tiredly as she nestled against Joe’s body for extra warmth, and closed her eyes once more.

  
He stirred after a moment, pressing a soft, sleepy kiss against her temple. “Morning.”

  
“Mmm,” she replied, trying to stifle a yawn. “Are you also feeling a sense of deja vu or is that just me?”

  
He chuckled softly. “No, it's not just you.”

  
“If your next move is to offer me a cup of coffee, I'm going to laugh,” she grinned, only slightly joking as she kissed his lips lightly. “That's how this whole mess started, if you recall.”

  
“This mess, as you so eloquently put it, is the best mistake I've ever made,” he admitted, his cheeks turning pink as he stroked her hair. “And yes, I do know how crazy this is going to sound, but you make me feel things I've only ever dreamed of.”

  
“It's definitely not crazy,” Monica assured him. “I feel the same way.”

  
"Glad that's settled, then," Joe chuckled, continuing to stroke her hair as he settled his head against his pillow once more.

  
\----

  
And to think it all started because of an attempt to save his failed marriage, he thought, looking across the table at Monica. After both of their divorces had been finalized, neither of them saw any use in denying their feelings toward one another. Nor did they know what had happened to Sally, Ryan, or Panes, and frankly, they didn't care to know.

  
"Penny for your thoughts?" Monica's voice broke into his reverie.

  
"Just thinking about how we met," he answered, smiling at her softly as he sipped his drink. "It's certainly a story for the ages."

  
"That it is," she agreed. "That it is."

 


End file.
